Last night was the first night I dreamed without feeling anything for James.

(I know, I’m totally unimaginative when it comes to blog post titles).

This has been a shitter of a week, absolutely emotionally draining. I’ve woken up with headaches every day and have been exhausted every night. Had all the house-moving stuff on my mind, chased by doubts as to whether I’m doing the ‘right’ thing… it feels right, yet I’m mostly pulled towards certain people I want to stay back for (James included–just in case). I’m really worried about making new friends in Canada; it’s hard enough here in my comfort zone. Obviously I can’t know what will happen, but it’s just so easy to stay with what you know. Including relationships that don’t work, but are comforting nonetheless.

Anyway, I’m almost coming to the conclusion of “stuff I need to wrap up in Australia” – cancelled everything except my bank accounts, and have yet to sell my car (though mum might take care of that — means I can get out of here quicker!). On that, I’ve booked my car to get the stupid car door lock looked at (the one that James broke by sticking a coathanger in it, and now he’s gone so I have to pay for it) on Tuesday. Almost moved all the stuff out of my house (hmm, two bookshelves and an A/C unit left, not sure how to moved those) and have just the kitchen and laundry to clean, and then vacuum and mop. Sold pretty much everything. The guy who bought all the stuff in my house is coming to pick it up on Tuesday or Wednesday so that means a nice cash injection in order to open up a bank account I can link to Canada, and pay off a nice lump of my debts. Also have to file my tax return so hopefully all the group certificates come in early July.

So! We’re now getting into the territory of “stuff I need to prepare for Canada” which is far more exciting. Need a bank account, new suitcases, tickets, maybe a laptop, travel insurance, Canadian dollars, a place to live, and an interview with the recruiter contact I have there.

Then the list after that will be “stuff to do as soon as I’m in Canada” and that is the one that intimidates me, but I just cannot wait.