I’m not sure if I ever spoke about my current roommates, and if I didn’t it was probably for very good reason. I’m currently subletting a new place every month because of my Job Situation, and when I moved to this current place I was taking the place of a beloved roommate in an established circle of friends. There was another guy here who seemed pretty cool, but never really at home because he’s an adventure tour guide (he has now moved to Mexico for the summer); and there is a couple. The guy-half of the couple is awesome, generally makes conversation, and is a great laugh. The girl? Seems to have something against me! If I arrive home in the middle of her conversation with her boyfriend, she shuts up while Sean and I make conversation, then when I leave the room she’s like “well, anyways, what was I saying?”. I’ve tried making small-talk with her, but she won’t have any of it. But then sometimes she compliments me on some of my clothes, and I’m like alright! She’s doing ok! But then start a conversation? Nothing, but the up-and-down look. Oh, and to make matters worse? They have an active sex-life, which is fine by me… but not when they do it in the KITCHEN. Woe.
Anyways, aside from them, and noticing people have been in my room, or worse, slept in my BED while I am out, I have managed to last a few weeks. But this past week since our third roommate went to Mexico?… This is a real test of my patience. Because now that he’s gone, they have totally let all hygiene go out the window. Four, maybe five, maybe more, nights ago they cooked some kind of sauce or soup or something… pots and pans and plates with half-eaten food has been left out in the kitchen since then. I didn’t want to clean it because I hardly use the kitchen, so it really isn’t my responsibility. Then the next night they cooked something else. Then another night they had people over, so beer cans are all over the kitchen. Another night they made popcorn, so husks and half a bowl of popcorn and seasoning is everywhere. Then they made something else. Then they made breakfast. Midnight snacks. Lunch. It is all STILL OUT THERE. I finally had enough and started cleaning up some of their stuff (but not that dirty soup pot from the first night).
Then this morning I go out to make some toast, and I literally had to take a step back… the bench was COVERED, end to end, in chopped garlic, half a naan, egg shells, seasoning, yogurt, tomato slices, and dishes, dishes and more dishes. And that soup pot? IS NOW GROWING MOULD. I tentatively looked in the drawers to see what cutlery was left (one knife) and if there was a plate (there was), made my toast and gingerly started loading the dishwasher with things that didn’t require me to actually clean up that much after them. Dishwasher is now on HEAVY DUTY. The garbage is overflowing, and the stuff that was put aside for recycling is now being filled with garbage.
WHAT. THE. SHIT. Are couples really that bad? They scrub up pretty nicely, but oh my god. Really? My mum always told me if I was that messy I’d never get a boyfriend.
So that was the kitchen. The hallway is full of all their used towels (you have to jump over them to get to the kitchen), and the bathroom is insane. The garbage in there is overflowing with face pads, toilet rolls, who knows what else? And when I came home yesterday? THERE WAS A WHOLE POO IN THERE. WHO DOESN’T FLUSH A POO!!!!
I want my mommy.