wittyLog.

Ahhh, how has a month passed since my last post? My three months in Vancouver has been far busier than my life ever was in Australia over the 25 years I lived there. And I say “lived” in the past form of the word, as I’m now starting to get settled here with no intention of returning anytime soon (well, I never was planning on going back, obviously, but it’s kind of set in stone now, to an extent). You see! I’ve nabbed myself a job! In fact, I had already nabbed myself a job (as a hostess in a bar), but it was an act-of-desperation-type job which ended badly (I was fired). But only two days later, I got an offer for a permanent job in HR and I’m flipping out with happiness! I haven’t been hired permanently anywhere since uni, and not only is it permanent, but it’s in my field, and pays about as well as I was getting in Oz. So joyous!

Joey and I are over the moon in love – we haven’t said it to each other yet, but it’s getting to that point. We had some post-coital conversation where he said “I want to tell you I love you, but now is not the right time”, which is so right because I once had a guy tell me he loved me while he was having sex with me and that’s just not on. Anyway, we reached some kind of turning point a few weeks ago, probably when he went to Toronto for a week and we had no contact with each other, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. In fact, we’re so inseparable (as in I am never at my house anymore, only to collect new changes of clothes, then go immediately back to his place) that we’re talking about moving in with each other. He’s the only guy I’ve ever actually talked about it with, rather than just doing it, so this could be promising.

Except for the fact that I’m getting evicted from my current sublet in less than a week and have no idea where I’m going to live. I think it’s too short notice to find a place for the both of us, but I have no time to househunt even for yet another sublet because I’m working so much. Arrrrrrrrrrgh. My life can never go absolutely swimmingly, can it?

Oh well. Two out of three ain’t bad.

I’m not sure if I ever spoke about my current roommates, and if I didn’t it was probably for very good reason. I’m currently subletting a new place every month because of my Job Situation, and when I moved to this current place I was taking the place of a beloved roommate in an established circle of friends. There was another guy here who seemed pretty cool, but never really at home because he’s an adventure tour guide (he has now moved to Mexico for the summer); and there is a couple. The guy-half of the couple is awesome, generally makes conversation, and is a great laugh. The girl? Seems to have something against me! If I arrive home in the middle of her conversation with her boyfriend, she shuts up while Sean and I make conversation, then when I leave the room she’s like “well, anyways, what was I saying?”. I’ve tried making small-talk with her, but she won’t have any of it. But then sometimes she compliments me on some of my clothes, and I’m like alright! She’s doing ok! But then start a conversation? Nothing, but the up-and-down look. Oh, and to make matters worse? They have an active sex-life, which is fine by me… but not when they do it in the KITCHEN. Woe.

Anyways, aside from them, and noticing people have been in my room, or worse, slept in my BED while I am out, I have managed to last a few weeks. But this past week since our third roommate went to Mexico?… This is a real test of my patience. Because now that he’s gone, they have totally let all hygiene go out the window. Four, maybe five, maybe more, nights ago they cooked some kind of sauce or soup or something… pots and pans and plates with half-eaten food has been left out in the kitchen since then. I didn’t want to clean it because I hardly use the kitchen, so it really isn’t my responsibility. Then the next night they cooked something else. Then another night they had people over, so beer cans are all over the kitchen. Another night they made popcorn, so husks and half a bowl of popcorn and seasoning is everywhere. Then they made something else. Then they made breakfast. Midnight snacks. Lunch. It is all STILL OUT THERE. I finally had enough and started cleaning up some of their stuff (but not that dirty soup pot from the first night).

Then this morning I go out to make some toast, and I literally had to take a step back… the bench was COVERED, end to end, in chopped garlic, half a naan, egg shells, seasoning, yogurt, tomato slices, and dishes, dishes and more dishes. And that soup pot? IS NOW GROWING MOULD. I tentatively looked in the drawers to see what cutlery was left (one knife) and if there was a plate (there was), made my toast and gingerly started loading the dishwasher with things that didn’t require me to actually clean up that much after them. Dishwasher is now on HEAVY DUTY. The garbage is overflowing, and the stuff that was put aside for recycling is now being filled with garbage.

WHAT. THE. SHIT. Are couples really that bad? They scrub up pretty nicely, but oh my god. Really? My mum always told me if I was that messy I’d never get a boyfriend.

So that was the kitchen. The hallway is full of all their used towels (you have to jump over them to get to the kitchen), and the bathroom is insane. The garbage in there is overflowing with face pads, toilet rolls, who knows what else? And when I came home yesterday? THERE WAS A WHOLE POO IN THERE. WHO DOESN’T FLUSH A POO!!!!

I want my mommy.

So I couldn’t let it rest. I can’t just be phased out of a relationship without at least knowing why. Actually, I had gotten myself ready to never hear from him again so I unfriended him from Facebook because if I saw he got with someone else without having the decency to “break up” with me, then I’d be shattered! More so! So I unfriended him and stayed indoors wallowing watching sad movies and TLC with a bottle of wine and a wedge of double cream brie. The next day he messages, obviously noticing I’d phased him out as much as he had done to me. He apologised for not getting in contact, but he’d spent the week thinking and thinking, and didn’t want to get involved in a long distance relationship that this could potentially be if I went back to Australia. He’d been there twice before, and been hurt badly twice, and even though he likes me a lot he didn’t want to go down that road again, WAH WAH WAH. He said he’d call and we’d talk.

So I waited. And he didn’t call. And this morning I was like UGH, enough is enough and woke him up with a phone call and asked if he was ever planning on speaking to me again?! He was like I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten involved because what if you go back to Australia and- I hung up. I couldn’t listen to it. I was at the library at the time and just broke down. I txt him that it was a stupid reason to break up with someone, when it’s not even something I’m entertaining right now, it’s stupid to break up when we both like each other so much. Then after some thought I said “maybe you just don’t like me in which case I feel totally used and like a complete idiot”.

That made him call back. We ended up talking for quite a while and he told me about his ex-girlfriends, two girls he fell really hard for, one English, one Mexican, both who said they were going to stay in Canada, went home to renew their visas and never came back, leaving him here waiting for almost a year each time. Ok, I can see why he’d not want to get into that situation again, but it was so hard to convey how much I am NOT planning on going home, and that even if I did it would only be to make more money to come back here. My heart is HERE, I wanted this for so long, and I am completely at home here. I couldn’t tell whether he’d made up his mind already to not give this a shot, but I think what scared him off was that he was falling more and more “in like” with me and thought this could possibly go somewhere (which surprised me, because he a bajillion times cooler than me, and if you met him you wouldn’t think he’s a one-woman, long-term-relationship type of guy… he’s just too hot? Maybe I have a complex – well, I definitely do after seeing pics of his ex). Anyway, he asked if we could have breakfast together so we met up a bit later and he apologised again and again and again and again.

I’m still worried he’s going to change his mind again while we’re apart… because as much as I tried to convince him I am planning to stay, I have to keep skirting the issue that there is a miniscule chance I will need to go home in a month or so if I don’t get a job. I don’t have anywhere to call home here, because of the job thing. I am so tired of applying for jobs, not getting interviews, or getting interviews and not getting the job. It sucks!

I just want everything to work out all at once, for once, because I can’t handle going through any more drama! So things with Joey seemed to be ok for now, but it took a lot out of me. I hope he’s worth it. I really like him.