I will never forget those words! I’m not sure if that was the first time he ever told me he loved me, but it was the first time I heard it out loud, above a whisper. Gobsmacked, I romantically returned with a “do you, now”, mentally slapped my forehead, and made out with him passionately (that I can do). I think he said it again later that night, and all I could do was kiss him.

The next day? I still hadn’t said it back. It stressed me out all day, waiting for the right moment – we spent the day on the beach, swimming together, the sun slowly sinking over the horizon… we were holding each other in the ocean, and I thought “this is the time”, and he said “I’m going to go for a skim” and I lost the moment. Sitting together with our friends on the beach, watching the sun go down, I thought “this is the time” until we packed up our stuff and left. Doh!

We went back to his place later that evening and he decided to go out to play frisbee with his friends. I decided to go to bed because I had work the next day. Holding me in his arms, giving me his perfect goodbye hug, I looked into his gorgeous blue eyes and the words came tumbling out. “I love you sooo much”. Yep. That was my first I Love You.

Luckily, the words worked their magic and he broke out into a huge grin and kissed me til my head swam. And now the I Love Yous are flying and feel as amazing as they only can when you’re first falling in love with someone.

Joey and I are over the moon in love – we haven’t said it to each other yet, but it’s getting to that point. We had some post-coital conversation where he said “I want to tell you I love you, but now is not the right time”, which is so right because I once had a guy tell me he loved me while he was having sex with me and that’s just not on. Anyway, we reached some kind of turning point a few weeks ago, probably when he went to Toronto for a week and we had no contact with each other, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. In fact, we’re so inseparable (as in I am never at my house anymore, only to collect new changes of clothes, then go immediately back to his place) that we’re talking about moving in with each other. He’s the only guy I’ve ever actually talked about it with, rather than just doing it, so this could be promising.

Except for the fact that I’m getting evicted from my current sublet in less than a week and have no idea where I’m going to live. I think it’s too short notice to find a place for the both of us, but I have no time to househunt even for yet another sublet because I’m working so much. Arrrrrrrrrrgh. My life can never go absolutely swimmingly, can it?

Oh well. Two out of three ain’t bad.

Anyways, aside from them, and noticing people have been in my room, or worse, slept in my BED while I am out, I have managed to last a few weeks. But this past week since our third roommate went to Mexico?… This is a real test of my patience. Because now that he’s gone, they have totally let all hygiene go out the window. Four, maybe five, maybe more, nights ago they cooked some kind of sauce or soup or something… pots and pans and plates with half-eaten food has been left out in the kitchen since then. I didn’t want to clean it because I hardly use the kitchen, so it really isn’t my responsibility. Then the next night they cooked something else. Then another night they had people over, so beer cans are all over the kitchen. Another night they made popcorn, so husks and half a bowl of popcorn and seasoning is everywhere. Then they made something else. Then they made breakfast. Midnight snacks. Lunch. It is all STILL OUT THERE. I finally had enough and started cleaning up some of their stuff (but not that dirty soup pot from the first night).

Then this morning I go out to make some toast, and I literally had to take a step back… the bench was COVERED, end to end, in chopped garlic, half a naan, egg shells, seasoning, yogurt, tomato slices, and dishes, dishes and more dishes. And that soup pot? IS NOW GROWING MOULD. I tentatively looked in the drawers to see what cutlery was left (one knife) and if there was a plate (there was), made my toast and gingerly started loading the dishwasher with things that didn’t require me to actually clean up that much after them. Dishwasher is now on HEAVY DUTY. The garbage is overflowing, and the stuff that was put aside for recycling is now being filled with garbage.

WHAT. THE. SHIT. Are couples really that bad? They scrub up pretty nicely, but oh my god. Really? My mum always told me if I was that messy I’d never get a boyfriend.

So that was the kitchen. The hallway is full of all their used towels (you have to jump over them to get to the kitchen), and the bathroom is insane. The garbage in there is overflowing with face pads, toilet rolls, who knows what else? And when I came home yesterday? THERE WAS A WHOLE POO IN THERE. WHO DOESN’T FLUSH A POO!!!!

I want my mommy.

So I waited. And he didn’t call. And this morning I was like UGH, enough is enough and woke him up with a phone call and asked if he was ever planning on speaking to me again?! He was like I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten involved because what if you go back to Australia and- I hung up. I couldn’t listen to it. I was at the library at the time and just broke down. I txt him that it was a stupid reason to break up with someone, when it’s not even something I’m entertaining right now, it’s stupid to break up when we both like each other so much. Then after some thought I said “maybe you just don’t like me in which case I feel totally used and like a complete idiot”.

That made him call back. We ended up talking for quite a while and he told me about his ex-girlfriends, two girls he fell really hard for, one English, one Mexican, both who said they were going to stay in Canada, went home to renew their visas and never came back, leaving him here waiting for almost a year each time. Ok, I can see why he’d not want to get into that situation again, but it was so hard to convey how much I am NOT planning on going home, and that even if I did it would only be to make more money to come back here. My heart is HERE, I wanted this for so long, and I am completely at home here. I couldn’t tell whether he’d made up his mind already to not give this a shot, but I think what scared him off was that he was falling more and more “in like” with me and thought this could possibly go somewhere (which surprised me, because he a bajillion times cooler than me, and if you met him you wouldn’t think he’s a one-woman, long-term-relationship type of guy… he’s just too hot? Maybe I have a complex – well, I definitely do after seeing pics of his ex). Anyway, he asked if we could have breakfast together so we met up a bit later and he apologised again and again and again and again.

I’m still worried he’s going to change his mind again while we’re apart… because as much as I tried to convince him I am planning to stay, I have to keep skirting the issue that there is a miniscule chance I will need to go home in a month or so if I don’t get a job. I don’t have anywhere to call home here, because of the job thing. I am so tired of applying for jobs, not getting interviews, or getting interviews and not getting the job. It sucks!

I just want everything to work out all at once, for once, because I can’t handle going through any more drama! So things with Joey seemed to be ok for now, but it took a lot out of me. I hope he’s worth it. I really like him.

In other news, Ben and I saw Imogen Heap last night and she was absolutely AMAZING. Hands down one of the best performances I have ever seen. She mixed stuff right on stage, improvised a song right from the audience, mumbled to herself in her eccentric manner… I love her.

My heart hurts.

But then when we’re apart. There’s no communication. We go days without so much as a text, and I start thinking and thinking and I think he’s not right for me, in that he could do so much better than me (or at least, someone more like him). When he’s out and doing stuff without me, I’m not particularly worried he’s with someone else as he’s always with his brothers (do you know how good that makes me feel, in comparison to previous relationships where I’d be paranoid they were with someone else?). He adds girls to Facebook and I’m like “hmm” but then I look at all the people I’ve been adding who have all been guys lately, so whatever. I don’t feel any drama there. But it’s more the fact that he doesn’t tell me he’s going out, and I’m constantly living on the edge like “is he going to ask me to come over tonight or not?” and then I feel like, oh no, am I just a booty call? I don’t think I am, it certainly doesn’t feel like that (though we do always have sex – how can I resist? He’s hot! And I’m… not ). Then I think well, I don’t think I mind being a booty call, I just want it to be CLEAR that it is, and let him know well, it’s fine if we have sex, but if it’s not going anywhere, then I want to be able to date other guys. And I don’t think he wants me to, because I know he is jealous of another guy that keeps texting me.

What’s going on? It’s such mixed messages! The overarching problem is that I really like him, and I think I could easily fall in love with him. But I have no idea how he feels about me. I don’t want to be the one chasing him. I’ve been there, done that. He said he could get any girl he wants (forgive him, he’s Quebecois), but he’s done with girls who have no brains. So where do we stand?…

Right. Off to continue with my fabulous life! (?)

So rest of the week passes and I get a text from Joey, “the other guy”, last night asking what I was up to so I told him my plans and he said he’d come and see me. Oh god, last night. Went with some girls to Milestones (I was over 2 hours late because I was bonding with my new roommates – now that’s a story for another time), then we tried some other bars around Yaletown, the most stinking douchey bars ever, and then went to the DOUCHIEST club in the world and the guy we were with was loaded so we got bottle service in a booth and I’m thinking WHY DO CANADIANS ALWAYS NEED TO SIT WHEN THEY DRINK?! It’s a club, for crying out loud! Dance like a skank with your drink in your hand! It really irks me. So anyways, Joey gets there (and one of the girls I was with who threw the house party last weekend was like, “oh you shouldn’t get with him” – I later found out she and Joey dated for a bit before they ended it because she was too drama queen, haha) and I left with him because that club was just So Bad. I said I wanted to dance so he took me to this Irish pub where I taught him the Aussie “point and pout” dance, and he totally impressed me with his shameless white boy dancing, and the whole fact that he even took me dancing was just so sweet?! We kissed right there on the dance floor. It was such a great night (in the end, anyway). I think he’s a bit of a regular there, because he introduced me to all the bar guys and asked me to come out again for beer pong night (heeellls yeah!).

So afterwards. Well, we went back to his place. Yadda yadda yadda… he is such a NICE guy, like a real genuine, kind soul. He is totally not the kind of guy I’d usually (?) go for – he’s the quintessential Canadian guy: piercings, cigarette-smoking, bit of a stoner, in a cap and hoodie. Ok, so he reminds me of James in a lot of ways, and I guess I’m still in the “single” mindset, trying to keep things casual, so what does it all matter? He romanced me in French, cuddled all night, and he is a cat guy. Swoon! He called me on his work break this evening and said his friends want to get to know me (I met a few of them at the house party last weekend) at another gathering tonight. Hmm! He’s talking about me to his friends? Aw!

So that’s that. I think all of a sudden I’m kind of dating someone. You can’t quit me yet, Vancouver!

On Thursday night was a meetup scheduled at the Yaletown Brewing Company (one of my fave bars so far, don’t judge me). We were led to believe there’d be a martini-mixing competition with 3 martinis for $10. We arrive and get told it’s held on the first Thursday of each month – so we were 2 weeks too late or too early, whichever way you look at it! Doh! We stayed anyway, and the group of about 7 girls turned into about 20 and it got way out of hand. I met an awesome, awesome chick there and we actually managed to “take it to the next level” – we continued our night on post-meetup, went to Cactus Club because she knew the DJ there, met some random guys inside, on the street, everywhere. Stayed out to stupid o’clock (and I had to be up before 6am for my faux-work the next day, woohoo!), ate Sri Lankan food at 2am. SUCH a good night out!

It’s so easy to meet people once you’re out, grab phone numbers, make empty promises to catch up later… so I was quite surprised when she called me this morning to follow up on a party she invited me to for Wednesday night! Oh my god, a genuine person in Vancouver, slap me now! So now I’m going to this launch party on Wednesday that she’s a host at, and she’s set me up with her friend as my “date” (it’s a woman, nothing suss) and got me in for free. Oh, I met this girl on Thursday too, and she is so heartbreakingly beautiful, I’m going to feel like such a shmuck next to her. She’s the owner of this exclusive beauty salon in Yaletown, and just looks so gorgeous. Why not me, peeps? Why not me?

Anyways, I am SO excited to be going to this party – finally, an excuse to dress up in this city! There’s like no dress standards here, it’s nuts. I have no coat, though. Not sure what to do about that. And no hair straightener either. Shmuck, I tells ya.

Other things I’ve been doing: many-a-pub visit (sad now the Canucks have LOST, pub catch-ups have become less frequent), meetups (including one tonight, appys and bellinis for $5, yew!), going to random Aussies’ leaving parties (how do we manage to find each other?), crushing on the good looking guys in Vancouver who are ALL taken.

Next weekend I’m moving into my new sublet for June, which comes included with 3 roommates – wonder what the next month will bring!

I’m actually now doing my 2.5 day job at a research facility, but it’s reception, and I haaate reception. At least it’s only a short job. I could never be a receptionist full-time, I completely suck at answering phones and mailing and stuff.

In more job-related news, I had a phone interview for another engineering firm today, and I thought it went really well! I googled the company and the lady who interviewed me, and through the teeth-gritting magic of Facebook, I saw we had two mutual friends in Vancouver! (Ok, seriously, how am I already finding mutual friends here? And the other day I ran into a guy in the street that I had met a couple of times – how is this even possible yet?) Well, the two people we have in common are more acquaintances on my end… but one of them had sort of invited me to a drinking gathering tomorrow night… and the interviewer is possibly going to be there! Is this fate? Or is Vancouver just that small? I really want the job, though – it’s the first HR job I’ve interviewed for, and it sounds really appealing! So I think I may take myself down to this gathering and see if she’ll be there (and get that guy-who-I-ran-into-in-the-street’s phone number – because he happens to work at that bar. Ok, Vancouver really is small).

I also had another interview yesterday (set up by a girl I met here to meet with one of her friends) to work in a furniture design store, and I’m kind of on the fence. It’s a job, but I would be leaving my career path to essentially be a career salesperson, even though it could potentially move into Head Officey type stuff down the track. I don’t know. I hate the idea of committing to something only to leave when something better comes along. It’s so flakey. Besides, I can’t design.

So yah. That’s my work update for you. Sounds like I have a ton of prospects, but really, I still only have until the end of June to find something or I gotta get out. Kind of worrying when my engineering contract ends on June 14, and I have no idea what will follow after that.